just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
