I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we're making bets on your personal life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
