small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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