She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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