Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
