Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
