well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
