Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
