If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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