Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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