what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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