you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
