okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This is my gift to your gina
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Randomize
