so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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