i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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