I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
