4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
