Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This is my gift to your gina
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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