My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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