you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
