the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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