currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
