Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
