i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think your dad took our porno
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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