i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
