You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
