You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
