Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
