been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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