There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
