talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
