Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
