I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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