its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
