i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
