she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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