I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
