i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
