The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
