wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
