I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
