Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i already hear my dad disowning me
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
