Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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