Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
