i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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