It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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