i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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