My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
