Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
