Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
