sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize