We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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