No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
