well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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