Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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