I met the friendliest cop last night
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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